Welcome!

Husshhhhh !!!
You're breathing too loud.
You are trespassing in Restricted Area. Tread Lightly.

I cannot tell you who I am, I can only tell you that I am someone very important in the organization that is related to the what you can call the "Secret Service" of the Nation Of Lolland.

Do not seek to trace my identity. These pages are triple-encoded with a 256 qubit Quantum Unbreakable Apocalyptic Cryptological Kode encryption or Q.U.A.C.K, which is then bounced off 57 gyroscopic and 23 heliosynchronous satellites and rerouted through the ionosphere of a moon of Jupiter, which I shall not name here. So don't even try.

Every fortnight, from now on, we shall meet here. You do not know where here is and I intend to keep it that way. I shall tell you some of the deepest most secret projects that the intelligentsia of Lolland is working on and uncovering, in Lolland and the rest of the World. So keep your schedule free at this hour.

And remember, most importantly, you must not tell anyone what you learn in these meetings. This is extremely sensitive information affecting millions of lives and involving very powerful people. One wrong move could result in thousands dying, maybe trigger world wars. In the wrong hands, it could bring entire nations to their knees. Do not breathe a word to anyone.

Hussshhhhh !!

- Signed
Darth Nirius
Head of P.U.S.S.I.E (Partie Ultimo de Secreto Servicio Inteligencia Expertos)
250, 52nd Street,
Mt. Orodruin,
Lols Vegas, Lolland
PO Box No 142666

Phone No - (+666) 1800-IM-PINK
Cell No - (+666) 3333-333-333

Office Timings - 12 noon - 4 am
Can be assassinated at :

1. 12:10 pm - during disembowelment
2. 7:05 pm - during evening walk
3. 3:37 pm - during dawn snack

Can also be kidnapped at these times, however extreme caution and hand sanitizers are advised if attempted at the 12:10 time slot.